The power of pretending

One of my favorite bloggers is Seth Godin, who has been a thought-leader in marketing and communications for decades. He has been blogging for years and he posts something every day, 365 days per year. 

Here is today's post, in its entirety:

The Consequence

Attitude follows action far more than action follows attitude.

We change our mood as a result of how we act. if you want to feel a certain way, begin by acting s if you do. On the other hand, if you truly want to accomplish something, waiting for the mood to strike is ineffective.

As you can see, his posts can be quite brief, and the content is difficult to categorize. Some days I read the post and shrug, not seeing any connection to my interests in education and leadership. But the daily posts hit often enough that I keep subscribing. I have saved dozens of them in a folder on my computer.

This one, arriving on a Monday morning, was timed just right (for me). New week. New challenges. Entering the second week of a four-week professional writing course that I am teaching this summer (I blinked, and the course is already one quarter over!). 

Anyway, today's post reminded me of something I said to my students over many years, beginning on the very first day of class each term.

"I ask that you PRETEND to love this class. You don't need to actually love it, but it's OK if you do. It will just be so much more pleasant for me if you at least pretend to love it. In fact, if you pretend well enough it will be difficult to see the difference between pretending and real love.

"In return, here is what I say to you: I LOVE YOU. I don't really. In fact, I just met most of you so how could I possibly love you in actuality. But if I do my job of pretending to love you, to care about you, you won't be able to tell the difference."

I'm not sure my students had ever been given this trade-off or really thought of all the times in life that our best option is to PRETEND. We might pretend to be intrigued by grandpa's story that he has already shared dozen of times. We might pretend to enjoy a slice of coconut pie to spare the baker's feelings, even though we despise coconut. We might keep our eyes open and sit up straight during a church sermon that seems to repeat the same advice as always (while our minds are off somewhere else).

Being good at pretending is a secret to a happy life. And, who knows? If we pretend long enough, can we really see much difference between pretending and the real thing?