Spend time to increase the energy of your introductions

Continuing my thoughts on how important it is to get our writing off to a strong start, here is an example from yesterday's Washington Post:

When Daverius Peters arrived at his high school graduation ceremony on May 19, he was immediately blocked from entering the convention center where it was being held.

Peters, 18, was wearing the mandatory purple cap and gown, but a school representative standing at the front door told him his shoe selection was wrong.

“She said my shoes violated the dress code and I couldn’t attend the ceremony unless I changed them,” said Peters, a senior at Hahnville High School in Boutte, La.

According to the school’s graduation dress code, male students were to wear dark dress shoes, with an emphasis that “no athletic shoes” were to be worn.

Peters showed up that day in black leather sneakers with white soles, and while they weren’t traditional dress shoes, “I thought I could wear them because they’re black,” he said, adding that he abided by the rest of the guidelines, which stipulated that students must wear a white dress shirt and tie, as well as dark dress pants.

The story goes on to reveal that a paraeducator who also had a child graduating quickly gave Deverus his dress shoes to wear for the ceremony, and the day was saved (from officious and legalistic school administrators, in my humble opinion). A feel good story about a crisis averted.

I wanted to point out that the very first word -- "when" -- puts readers in a specific time and introduces a scene. We learn our protagonist's name and get the basic conflict in the story. The second sentence adds more context, and then we get the student's quoted words. 

We meet the student's rescuer in just a few more grafs and the reporter includes quotes from his parents and the administration and from the paraeducator who was shoeless until the ceremony ended. The nuts and bolts and reactions of everyone comprise the bulk of the story.

It's a positive story, ultimately, but those first few sentences provide the characters, setting, and conflict that is resolved quite naturally after that strong beginning.

Rev up our starts with clarity and with awareness of how readers like to get into stories. That initial energy gives you the boost you need to keep going and keep readers hooked enough to join you.