From a rhetorical point of view, war often produces a lot of ad hominem attacks on people or even entire countries. From our far-off vantage point, as Ukrainians are slaughtered, such personal attacks may be all we have.
But sometimes mocking physical characteristics can carry more metaphorical weight.
On his website, Garrison Keillor reflected on fine music and his anticipation of an imminent breakfast, noting that “this bagel is turning into the high point of my day, the bagel of all bagels, the bagel Hegel would’ve finagled with Puccini’s cream cheese and scallions that win medallions from Italians.”
In The Washington Post, Sally Jenkins endorsed a particular punishment of the Russian president, writing that there’s “nothing trivial about wiping Vladimir Putin’s musky perspirations from the international sports stage.” She continued: “His brand of shirtless belligerent patriotism — his macho nationalism — has been a long con, and it’s no small thing to knock him off medal podiums and expose the lifts in his shoes, or to rip off his judo belt and show the softening of his belly.”
Jenkins builds on the "man's man" physical mythology that Putin has boasted and built upon for decades. He's not a big guy and he used to be quite fit. Now he is 69 and no man can resist the gravity of aging. That maybe excuses the allusions Jenkins makes to his short stature and his likely "looser" body.
On the other hand, we might argue that it's fair game to attack in any way a leader who has ordered innocents' deaths and the invasion of a peaceful and closely connected neighbor. Judicious rhetoric is always a casualty of war.
As a change of pace, I appreciate writers whose main objective is to entertain, and a nice example showed up this week that made me smile.
Keillor is not sharing "straight news," of course, but this sort of "fun with language" is a nice break for many readers who are inundated with the serious, the tragic, the challenging, and the dismaying that makes up much of the news.
In this example, we find a mix of poetry with the prose, including internal rhymes ("bagel Hegel would've finagled...") as well as a recognition of how something quite small in the world's eyes can bring joy. Finding the universal and wise within something seemingly mundane is the essence of poetry.
Hyperbole is at work here, as well, which is a tried and true tactic for humorists. Take an everyday event or situation and allow it to spin out to natural (or unnatural) conclusions.
Is this sort of writing "showing off"? Duh. It is not recommended for most professional writing, mostly because we can never be certain who is reading our professional memos and emails and reports.
As a writing instructor, however, I have to admit that when a student produces a clever phrase or metaphor or twist on a cliché, I couldn't be happier.
There is a limit to how much dry, technically correct writing I can handle.
Now I must return to grading the ultimate in "dry and technical" -- an assignment to create a new resume and cover letter for a fictional job opening.
Forgive me if my attention wanders and the subject of bagels comes up.
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